Subway Ice Breaker – Boys, you might can learn a thing or two

Here’s an useless piece of wisdom for all of you, but you might find it amusing.

After a few years of getting hit on in the subway by lame guys in new york, I have figured out the most commonly used “ice breaker”……80% of them started the conversation with “Is this running express or local?” Then they ask you if they are riding the right train, then they start asking questions about where are you going, where are you coming from, what do you do and how old are you…..and it eventually leads to “can I have your number or can I give you mine so you can call me sometimes?” Of course my answers has always been no, but sometimes, believe or not, I get lectured for saying “no”. Such as the dude in the story below. I thought I should share because it was just so freaking hilarious.

One night, very late, I was coming back from a party. Trying to save money on cab fare, so I sucked it up and took the subway. I transfered from the F to the 7 using the underpass. And as I was walking down the stairs I felt a gaze on me….some dude was checking me out. Then I realized as I was being followed on the platform from end to end, I thought to myself, shit, he’s gonna get in the same car with me. And I was right. So he sat down next to me and he had a bike with him. He was very open though, straight to the point. He introduced himself right away and ask for my name and my age (looks like everyone in new york is age sensitive…..they make sure you are legal.) Then he said, “I just had to meet you because I was biking on the street earlier and I saw you walking on the street. I thought you were So beautiful, I almost crashed my bike.” The moment he said that, I turned my polite face off. I laughed and I said, “Oh?! I’m so sorry.” I mean, come on, I know he was clearly lying. I took the underpass! I was not walking on the street! So he wanted my number, and I said I rather not give it out. He kept on asking so I said, “well, it won’t matter. My number will not matter.” And then he started shaking his head, “man, you are so wrong, you are so wrong about life by saying it won’t matter. everything in this life matters….” I just had to laugh….this guy is trying to give me a piece of wisdom while he just lied straight to my face? I started to ignore and when my stop came, I just said “have a good night” and walked out.

Here’s a worse one, this one was at Whole Foods. I sat in an empty seating area trying to eat a quick lunch and this guy came over and said,”can I sit with you since there’s no seats available?” I was like…umm….look around, there are plenty of seats. I mean, if you are sleek and said it in an attractive way then maybe I would think it’s more legit, but the fact that he said it in a rather serious voice, I thought it was just totally lame. But just being nice, I said sure. Then he started a conversation and immediately I knew this guy was boring. But he still manged to take out his iPhone and waived it around asking for my number. Look, I don’t care if you have money or if you think you are hip. And honestly, almost everyone in new york between the age of 20 and 50 are using an iPhone. So, that was the end of him.

And what I hate the MOST is when I tell them I have a boyfriend, the only come back they could give me is “so? he doesn’t have to know.” I hate that shit, that might work on some sluts, but not if you are actually looking for decent women.

So boys, I know it’s like the ultimate question: you would say to me, “It’s bitches like you discouraging all the good single boys to go after their fish.” How can a guy look cool, but not pretentious or bitter when getting rejected and walk away with confidence intact? Well, here’s a little story that might shed some light.

I was actually coming from a super tiring day, i was carrying luggage from NJ back to NY. It was almost 1AM and I was basically passing out on the NJ Transit train. I crawled up in a corner, had my luggage around me and my ipod on. I sort of noticed a guy looking at me from 6 seats away, but I didn’t think much, I fell asleep. Then I heard a male voice above me, “you falling asleep?”. At first I was totally annoyed. I had my headphone on and my eyes were closed, why the hell even ask?! Then he said, “I was just falling sleep and I missed my stop. So I had to wait the next train to come back to my stop. That really sucked. Where do you get off? I hope you won’t miss your stop.” Then we talked a little bit, I told him I have BF so he asked, ” And it’s going well? would you still like to keep my number and call me one day?” I said, “yes, it is going very well. We’ve been in a very good relationship for 5 years now.” So he said, “That’s great. Lucky guy. well, I just couldn’t help myself. I saw you sleeping across the car and I thought you are just the cutest thing.” I had to smile….I mean, how could I not? I was super tired, I had no make up on, I really felt and looked like shit, then this guy made an effort to tell me that and he was nice about it. Persistent, but respectful. The story ended with him saying, “Don’t worry, you will get rid of me. I’m getting off next.” Then there was his stop, he left with a “take care!” He left me with good thoughts, nothing negative.

And another turn off is when guys ask me what my ethnic background is way too early into the conversation. Asian Fetish throws me off, Big Time. Which this white Jersey boy totally did not do. Good for him.

Hope that was an interesting read for some of you out there. Bye now, gotta get up for another busy day! The Coterie (the biggest women’s fashion trade show in NY) started today. Our new collection s getting a great response!

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~ by sometimelove on September 17, 2008.

7 Responses to “Subway Ice Breaker – Boys, you might can learn a thing or two”

  1. when I ask for express or local. I REALLY MEAN IT! joking hahahahaha. that was awesome. great stories.

  2. Man, well written kits. I don’t have that kind of confidence to wave an I-Phone so I guess I can’t really mock those who do. I-Phone is pretty sweet though.

    -Windowsilk

  3. I’m too scared to talk to girls.

    -debutante.

  4. All three of you, stop lying! =)

  5. So…throwing ones at a girl still is OK though right?

    -shAdEs Of grEY

  6. Great read. I hate the “he doesnt have to know” line too…really scummy.

  7. Shades of grey…..Not in new york! But throwing hundreds at girls in new york might get you somewhere.

    Amen to that, erica.

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